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THE IMPOSING DESK OF DECEPTION — $40 OBO (Looks Heavy, Isn’t) - $40 (Longmont)
Nelson near Hover
condition:
like new
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Do you want a desk that screams, “I do serious work here,” but whispers, “Please don’t test my structural integrity”?
Congratulations — this is your destiny.
ABOUT THE DESK:
This majestic piece of furniture looks like it was forged from the blackened heartwood of a fallen ancient tree…
But don’t worry. It’s not actually heavy. It just pretends to be.
Perfect for:
People who want to seem more productive than they are
Students who want a desk large enough for homework but small enough to avoid responsibility
Gamers who need LOTS of room for snacks
Anyone who wants visitors to go, “Wow, that thing must weigh a ton,” right before you effortlessly slide it across the room with one hand
FEATURES:
🖤 Deceptive mass — looks like 800 lbs, actually closer to “I can lift this if I hype myself up first”
🖤 Minimalist, intimidating, mysterious rectangle energy
🖤 Two sturdy legs that may or may not be plotting something
🖤 Large surface area for writing, crafting, building a shrine, or supporting your emotional baggage
CONDITION:
Used. A few scuffs. Still structurally sound. Still looks like it belongs in the lair of someone who types dramatically for a living.
PRICE:
$40 OBO
Will trade for snacks, caffeine, or anything that does not require assembly.
PICKUP ONLY
I absolutely CANNOT help you carry it to your car. Bring a friend.