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THE LEGENDARY WRINKLE-DESTROYER 3000 — $15 (Negotiable if you fear it) - $15 (Longmont)
Nelson near Hover
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Does your life feel crumpled?
Do you wish you had a handheld device capable of blasting steam with the fury of an upset dragon who just woke up from a 400-year nap?
GOOD NEWS.
I’m selling this Conair handheld garment steamer, a machine so powerful it once made a shirt too smooth. Yes. Dangerously smooth. “Slid off the hanger and ascended spiritually” smooth.
FEATURES (according to me, not the manufacturer):
🌪️ Shoots steam like Zeus trying to vaporize a laundry basket
⚡ Has buttons labeled ‘Turbo,’ ‘Setting,’ and ‘Steam’ — none of which I fully understand, but pushing them makes you feel like a scientist in a monster movie
🧼 Water tank that holds enough liquid to turn an entire room into a budget spa
💡 Heats up faster than your ex when you text ‘we need to talk’
🦾 Stands proudly on its own like a tiny, angry robot that wants your wrinkles gone
CONDITION:
Used but majestic.
Cord is intact.
Steam still comes out like it's got something to prove.
PERFECT FOR:
Clothes
Curtains
Costumes
Small dragon cosplay
Exorcisms (maybe)
Making your room feel like the inside of a humidifier’s dreams
PRICE:
$15 OBO
Trades accepted: snacks, rare Magic cards, or a high-five delivered with intention.
WHY AM I SELLING IT?
Because I own exactly one shirt and it’s already wrinkle-free.