Foot Rubs - Beyond Belief - $25 (Boulder)

condition: new
Looking for some new patrons/customers. I've developed a technique that has made some heads turn and wonder what that smell is. Why do I feel so different, and why are people staring at me?
My schedule has multiplied since the discovery of a few ingredients have been mixed and applied to the feet. Rubbed long enough to develop a callus over 3 sessions.

What I do is hand grind a platypus’s beak into a course yet smooth yield. Just enough to barely cut the skin and settle within the cracks. I take that and mix it with some nose oil scrapped off some nasty people, but it works. Then I heat that up to about 96 degrees, just low enough to not kill any bacteria, then add a gallon of expired mayo mixed with vacuum bag remnants, finally topping off with my own personal earwax. I've been collecting that since the 70's as I knew it would be useful. After all that I heat it up in a glass Pyrex turkey trey at 325 for 5 min, again to not kill ANY bacteria.

This then gets dispersed by a spatula and applied onto my customers feet. Sometimes inner thighs. Really depends on the desire level and if there chaffed with a heat rash from thick thighs.

You might be asking to yourself...What does this congcockshin do?
It creates a delightful experience that also leaves you with a story to tell. Preferably at the table with friends or family.

1st session is free. I highly recommend this treatment because it really is beyond belief. A note of caution. The scent you will emit will paralyze a weak soul. If this happens, please send them my way. This will build an immunity and an everlasting friendship.

I charge 25 an hour plus gas. I do also pick up and drive you home or wherever you decide to lay within a 243-mile radius.

Thank you for your stability in creating a better environment.

Stack Thornbuckle IVXII

post id: 7710850120



best of [?]